Friday, July 29, 2005

Top 100 Movie Quotes, #50-#41


Samantha: I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek.

Mmmmmm, Molly Ringwald. I love the incredulous look and tone that go along with this line. "Have I really sunk this low?" "Can this day get any stranger?" I remember the feeling well from the night I got talked into renting Daredevil. Seriously, if you can run Jen Garner around in skintight clothes for 90 minutes and it still really stinks, what does that say about your script, fellas?


Milo: You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain...
Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music.

If you haven't seen this movie, you're missing out. Chris Tucker, et al, owe a great deal to Bruce Willis, perhaps the master of the funny action movie. Bad guy Milo, played to the hilt of smarminess by the underrated Taylor Negron, figures into many of the film's best lines. Willis and the writers share credit here for the barrage of witty comebacks, expertly delivered. Plus, anyone who's heard any rap music in the last 10 years can attest to the truth in Hallenbeck's words.


Shooter McGavin: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: [laughing] you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter McGavin: No...

I asked Shooter to tell me about this quote over dinner at Red Lobster, but he never showed up. Jackass! The exchanges between Happy and Shooter are some of the best scenes in the movie, and this scene in the bar stands out in particular. Shooter's dumbfounded "No!" always elicits a chuckle.


Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.

Once again, the deadpan delivery by those Good Ole' Blues Boys Brothers Band guys makes for a classic line. I never even knew there were Nazis in Illinois. Well, aside from the Blackhawks owner, that is.


John Bender: Well, Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian Johnson: Uh, no. Mr. Johnson.

This is a generally-forgotten line when people quote this John Hughes classic, but I love the interplay here. Again, in the "how the mighty has fallen" category, we see Judd Nelson. Judd went from Brat Pack superstar, to second fiddle to Brooke Shields in a weak comedy, to generic evil man in Lifetime Movies of the Week? His brief appearance in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a recent high point ("Let's go back to the station and cornhole us a drunk"). Anthony Michael Hall's career, much like my athletic ability, peaked around age 16 and faded quickly thereafter. In this short exchange, however, they're forever young and on the prowl for their next coke binge.


Steve McCroskey: Bad news. The fog’s getting thicker.
Johnny: [jumps behind large man, grabs the man’s belly and jiggles it] And Leon’s getting laaaaaaaaaaaarger!

If Stephen Stucker accomplished nothing else in his life, he'd still be able to claim that he played the funniest character in one of the funniest movies of all time. Every time the slight, bald, and thuper flight control assistant appears on screen, one of the movie's best lines is sure to follow. It must have been a joy to play this part, knowing that he could completely ham up every scene. The sight of Johnny, pouncing catlike into the screen and grabbing the rotund extra's gut, is just a bonus in addition to Stucker's hilarious voice.

44. BIG

Susan: I want to spend the night with you.
Josh: Do you mean sleep over?
Susan: Well... yeah.
Josh: Well, okay... but I get to be on top.

I so enjoy the double-entendre. Sometimes people tend to forget just how many good movies Tom Hanks has made, and Big is one of these oft-forgotten gems. Now, I'm unconvinced that a boy of 12 would be oblivious to the sexual meanings here, but it's still played very well.


Sissy: "See, Jussy and I are putting together this documentary for our human sexuality class and we need a male perspective on the clitoris."
Jay: "The female clitoris?"
Sissy: "Uh, yeah."

J&SBSB is another movie for which I had difficulty narrowing a long list of great quotes down to a few to make the list. I really do enjoy this scene in particular, as J&SB, along with the girl gang, prepare for the big "monkey heist." In addition to the excellent eye candy, it brings us the beginning of the running C.L.I.T. jokes and sets up the outstanding scene with Jon Stewart and Will Ferrell on the news show.


Carole: Hey Goose you big stud!
Goose: That's me, honey.
Carole: Take me to bed or lose me forever.
Goose: Show me the way home, honey.

I can't say with any great certainty, but I do believe this movie established my thing for Meg Ryan. I absolutely love her character in Top Gun, with her mix of looks, sweetness, and bit of a dirty side. As I warned you previously, Mother Goose is a frequent contributor to this list. Plus, "Take me to bed or lose me forever" is an outstanding flirting line for general use.


Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

The initial meeting of two of the three best characters (Vizzini being the third) produces many great lines, but this was my choice. I enjoy the foundation this early mutual respect sets for their eventual partnership. Like Stephen Stucker earlier, Cary Elwes can always say he played a great character in a great movie. Yes, I know he was decent in Hot Shots as well, but after Princess Bride, an actor does not have much of anywhere to go but down.


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